60 pippa.io <![CDATA[Save Your Sanity]]> http://forrelationshiphelp.com/ en Content here is owned and copyrighted by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD Get the insights you need to see, understand, and make good decisions and changes to manage the difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships with the people Dr. Shaler calls Hijackals®!


The Relationship Help Show: Move From Pain to Power - offers the insights, strategies, and skills you need to recognize what's really going on in the crazy-making relationships in your life. Relentlessly difficult people and relationships in can cause you to constantly second-guess yourself and question your sanity.


Get relationship advice directly from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor. Learn from her expert guests. Each one has a very unique voice on solving relationship problems with particularly difficult people 






Are these relationship issues on your mind? This show has answers!

  • Are you with a Hijackal? Free ebook, How To Spot A Hijackal, Hijackals.com 
  • Want to know how your relationship can shift and you can grow closer?
  • Or, need to know if it's time to leave? 
  • Need insights into troubling behavior patterns?
  • Want to deepen your emotional intimacy?
  • Need to distance yourself from toxic people?
  • Can't communicate...or someone won't?
  • Trying to figure out what's your problem and what is theirs? 
  • Does every conversation quickly become an argument?
  • Have you been discarded by a relentlessly difficult person, a Hijackal?
  • Are you with one? Or, leaving one? 
]]>
Get the insights you need to see, understand, and make good decisions and changes to manage the difficult, toxic–often disturbing–relationships with the people Dr. Shaler calls Hijackals®!


The Relationship Help Show: Move From Pain to Power - offers the insights, strategies, and skills you need to recognize what's really going on in the crazy-making relationships in your life. Relentlessly difficult people and relationships in can cause you to constantly second-guess yourself and question your sanity.


Get relationship advice directly from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor. Learn from her expert guests. Each one has a very unique voice on solving relationship problems with particularly difficult people 






Are these relationship issues on your mind? This show has answers!

  • Are you with a Hijackal? Free ebook, How To Spot A Hijackal, Hijackals.com 
  • Want to know how your relationship can shift and you can grow closer?
  • Or, need to know if it's time to leave? 
  • Need insights into troubling behavior patterns?
  • Want to deepen your emotional intimacy?
  • Need to distance yourself from toxic people?
  • Can't communicate...or someone won't?
  • Trying to figure out what's your problem and what is theirs? 
  • Does every conversation quickly become an argument?
  • Have you been discarded by a relentlessly difficult person, a Hijackal?
  • Are you with one? Or, leaving one? 
]]>
no Rhoberta Shaler, PhD info+5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8@mg.pippa.io episodic https://assets.pippa.io/shows/5ac99d250c3456504c56d1b8/1525226635526-c3dd96f3ff54c4044cbe477753fe8397.jpeg http://forrelationshiphelp.com/ <![CDATA[Save Your Sanity]]> https://feed.pippa.io/public/shows/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist <![CDATA[8 Strong Steps To Handle Bullies at Work]]> Sat, 16 Jun 2018 17:49:04 GMT 21:28 5b254a1ba11e77ef7eb0dc32 no full 2 6 SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


8 STRONG STEPS TO HANDLE BULLIES AT WORK...AND, AT HOME.


You feel bullied. You see others being bullied. It's not right!


Perhaps, you shy away. You sometimes take a day off to get away from the toxic environment.


You are ready to stop this nonsense, and today, I'm going to give you some solid steps, some strong steps, to understand the bully, and know what is in your power to do about it.


If this is a workplace bully, you may think that the bully should be management's problem. True, however, management may not be doing anything about it. After all, they don't have to work with this person every day, right? You do. So, you need to do something, too.


Bullies may or may not be Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people I talk about here. It is possible that the bully is just a truly scared person who leads with their anger to avoid appearing weak. There are possibilities to consider.


And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.


A bully is afraid. It sounds strange, and it's true. A bully is afraid that s/he will not be taken seriously, noticed, or made important enough, so they take on the job themselves. They really back themselves into a corner while trying to corner you!


In today's episode, I'm talking about what to do when you have to work with--or manage--a bully, person who goes out of his or her way to intimidate others. You cannot have that if you are in management. Productivity suffers and no one wants to come to work.


You personally cannot let it just go, either. It will affect your health and well-being. You want to know the steps you can take to feel assertive and confident in the face of a bully. I know, that may not be where you want to step, but it's better than avoiding, cowering, or quitting, right?


Notice what you are feeling when you hear those eight strong steps:


  • Do I lose my self-esteem around the bully? Am I just giving it away? That's a possibility.
  • Can I now see that I am letting the bully take away my right to be myself and stand strong?
  • Do I need more skills to stand strong and avoid a clash of wills. Facts are facts. Stick to them.
  • What do I need to do--what self-talk do I need--to do things more positively with the bully?
  • What difference would it make if I listened to the bully to find something I could agree with?
  • Am I willing to work on my issues, and shore up my skills to be happier every day with my willingness to be assertive?



If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


8 STRONG STEPS TO HANDLE BULLIES AT WORK...AND, AT HOME.


You feel bullied. You see others being bullied. It's not right!


Perhaps, you shy away. You sometimes take a day off to get away from the toxic environment.


You are ready to stop this nonsense, and today, I'm going to give you some solid steps, some strong steps, to understand the bully, and know what is in your power to do about it.


If this is a workplace bully, you may think that the bully should be management's problem. True, however, management may not be doing anything about it. After all, they don't have to work with this person every day, right? You do. So, you need to do something, too.


Bullies may or may not be Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people I talk about here. It is possible that the bully is just a truly scared person who leads with their anger to avoid appearing weak. There are possibilities to consider.


And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.


A bully is afraid. It sounds strange, and it's true. A bully is afraid that s/he will not be taken seriously, noticed, or made important enough, so they take on the job themselves. They really back themselves into a corner while trying to corner you!


In today's episode, I'm talking about what to do when you have to work with--or manage--a bully, person who goes out of his or her way to intimidate others. You cannot have that if you are in management. Productivity suffers and no one wants to come to work.


You personally cannot let it just go, either. It will affect your health and well-being. You want to know the steps you can take to feel assertive and confident in the face of a bully. I know, that may not be where you want to step, but it's better than avoiding, cowering, or quitting, right?


Notice what you are feeling when you hear those eight strong steps:


  • Do I lose my self-esteem around the bully? Am I just giving it away? That's a possibility.
  • Can I now see that I am letting the bully take away my right to be myself and stand strong?
  • Do I need more skills to stand strong and avoid a clash of wills. Facts are facts. Stick to them.
  • What do I need to do--what self-talk do I need--to do things more positively with the bully?
  • What difference would it make if I listened to the bully to find something I could agree with?
  • Am I willing to work on my issues, and shore up my skills to be happier every day with my willingness to be assertive?



If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
<![CDATA[7 Warning Signs and Wake-Up Calls That Your Partner is MORE Than Selfish]]> Sun, 10 Jun 2018 16:30:44 GMT 13:22 5b1d4d72d276ba4e4066b792 no full 2 5 SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


7 WARNING SIGNS AND WAKE-UP CALLS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE MORE THAN SELFISH


You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you're with a Hijackal®! That's why it's so important to know if that's the case.


And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.


Having someone in your life who demands to be the center of attention is exhausting. Even if you just give in and let them have the limelight, you cannot help but have some resentment brewing within, and that's exhausting.


In today's episode, I'm talking about verbal signs. In fact, I've given you seven things that a MORE THAN SELFISH person will say often, or at least, seem to be saying--or behaving--all the time. And, you don't want to hear them. It makes you scream inside...if not outside, occasionally. And, that's taking a toll on you.


Notice what you are feeling when you hear those seven things.


  • Do these selfish attitudes pop up often in your relationship with this MORE THAN SELFISH person?
  • If it was/is a parent, can you recognize how this diminished you over the years?
  • If it is your partner, do you feel less than, neglected, and screaming "What about me?" in your head?
  • Is it a friend who always brings the conversation back to what's up with them?
  • Are you too used to living with the drama and now recognize a need for change?
  • Do you drag my feel about changing your relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?


If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


7 WARNING SIGNS AND WAKE-UP CALLS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE MORE THAN SELFISH


You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you're with a Hijackal®! That's why it's so important to know if that's the case.


And, I've written a free ebook for you to find out. How To Spot A Hijackal. Get it HERE.


Having someone in your life who demands to be the center of attention is exhausting. Even if you just give in and let them have the limelight, you cannot help but have some resentment brewing within, and that's exhausting.


In today's episode, I'm talking about verbal signs. In fact, I've given you seven things that a MORE THAN SELFISH person will say often, or at least, seem to be saying--or behaving--all the time. And, you don't want to hear them. It makes you scream inside...if not outside, occasionally. And, that's taking a toll on you.


Notice what you are feeling when you hear those seven things.


  • Do these selfish attitudes pop up often in your relationship with this MORE THAN SELFISH person?
  • If it was/is a parent, can you recognize how this diminished you over the years?
  • If it is your partner, do you feel less than, neglected, and screaming "What about me?" in your head?
  • Is it a friend who always brings the conversation back to what's up with them?
  • Are you too used to living with the drama and now recognize a need for change?
  • Do you drag my feel about changing your relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?


If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.


Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
<![CDATA[4 Sneaky Signs That Mean Long-Term Relationship Trouble]]> Sat, 02 Jun 2018 18:34:34 GMT 16:29 5b12df59267a45f42d316224 no full 2 4 SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


4 SNEAKY SIGNS THAT MEAN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE


Something is wrong. It's off. It's sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help.


You may be used to these things, and that's not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned these ways so early on that, even though you hate it, you accept it.


Time to change that. Once you really understand these four things, and TRULY ACCEPT that you cannot change them in the other person, then your life can improve by leaps and bounds. Yes, if you've been in the relationship for a long time, it might get nastier and messier for a while before it improves. Hijackals® don't like to be actually seen! They don't respond well to it.


You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. These four things are almost in their DNA: they will do them. They may do them actively and openly, or they may be covert and underhanded, but they'll do them.


Once you see these four signs, and actually believe that you cannot change them, you'll begin to go and grow in a healthier direction. Sure, it may not be easy at first, but it will get so much better. I promise.


Red flags? They are everywhere, but when you're wearing rose-colored glasses, those red flags are very hard to see. It takes real strength to whip those glasses off, once and for all. You'll see clearly, even though you may not like what you see. That's the beginning of coming into your own, to empowering yourself to stand strong.


In today's episode, I'm sharing four big signs that, once you let yourself see them for what they are, you will not be able to unsee them...unless, of course, you slip into denial and allow yourself to keep on being demeaned, discounted and distressed. You won't do that, will you?

Think about these four signs in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on. And, when you're being hurt, you want to see clearly, stand up for yourself, and say "No more!"


Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:


  • Am I letting these behaviors go unchecked in my relationship?
  • Did a parent treat me this way, so demeaning behavior somehow feels "normal?"
  • If someone always has to win and it isn't me, am I willing to allow this to carry on?
  • Have I been in denial about this because I don't know what my next best steps are?
  • Do I drag my feel about changing my relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?


Start with yourself. If you need help with this, I'm here for you. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.


You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


4 SNEAKY SIGNS THAT MEAN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE


Something is wrong. It's off. It's sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help.


You may be used to these things, and that's not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned these ways so early on that, even though you hate it, you accept it.


Time to change that. Once you really understand these four things, and TRULY ACCEPT that you cannot change them in the other person, then your life can improve by leaps and bounds. Yes, if you've been in the relationship for a long time, it might get nastier and messier for a while before it improves. Hijackals® don't like to be actually seen! They don't respond well to it.


You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. These four things are almost in their DNA: they will do them. They may do them actively and openly, or they may be covert and underhanded, but they'll do them.


Once you see these four signs, and actually believe that you cannot change them, you'll begin to go and grow in a healthier direction. Sure, it may not be easy at first, but it will get so much better. I promise.


Red flags? They are everywhere, but when you're wearing rose-colored glasses, those red flags are very hard to see. It takes real strength to whip those glasses off, once and for all. You'll see clearly, even though you may not like what you see. That's the beginning of coming into your own, to empowering yourself to stand strong.


In today's episode, I'm sharing four big signs that, once you let yourself see them for what they are, you will not be able to unsee them...unless, of course, you slip into denial and allow yourself to keep on being demeaned, discounted and distressed. You won't do that, will you?

Think about these four signs in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on. And, when you're being hurt, you want to see clearly, stand up for yourself, and say "No more!"


Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:


  • Am I letting these behaviors go unchecked in my relationship?
  • Did a parent treat me this way, so demeaning behavior somehow feels "normal?"
  • If someone always has to win and it isn't me, am I willing to allow this to carry on?
  • Have I been in denial about this because I don't know what my next best steps are?
  • Do I drag my feel about changing my relationship because it all seems so difficult, distressing, and uncertain?


Start with yourself. If you need help with this, I'm here for you. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.


You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
<![CDATA[12 Things Passive-Aggressive People ALWAYS Do, But Don't Often Realize]]> Sun, 27 May 2018 18:15:12 GMT 19:32 5b0af1c54bc8e06813c78696 no full 2 3 SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


12 THINGS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO, BUT DON'T OFTEN REALIZE.


You want to be seen, know, loved, and valued. Of course, you do. Yet, you may be afraid to really enter into relationships. One way people think protects them from intimacy is to adopt passive-aggressive behaviors.


You push people away with passive-aggressive behaviors, right when you're longing for them to come closer. The good news is that you can change. And, if the passive-aggressive behaviors belong to someone else, you can learn how to recognize what's going on and make some changes. That's what today's podcast is all about.


You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. Well, all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That's good news, because you might have been thinking otherwise.


In today's episode, I'm sharing twelve things--twelve infuriating things--that passive-aggressive people do that can drive others crazy. And, unfortunately, can drive them away.


I mentioned my free PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com site, where you can dive deeply into learning more about yourself or that person whose crazy-making behaviors are causing you to wonder if you want to be around them. Understanding what is passive-aggressive, and what is not is the best place to start. The Checklist is in-depth. In fact, it has two parts. When you complete the first and you recognize you need to know more, the checklist generates a second checklist for you to complete. It's a really effective learning tool.


Think about these twelve things in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on.


Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:


  • Do I ever behave in any of these ways?
  • How do I currently respond when others behave like this?
  • Is it serving me? Is it serving them?
  • Am I completely kind and honest in my communications?
  • Do I tell the truth--again kindly and honestly--when asked for my opinion, or whether or not I'll do something?
  • Do I drag my feet once I've agreed to do something? Does someone I care about?
  • How can I release my own passive-aggressive tendencies?


Start with yourself. Then, learn to manage passive-aggressive behaviors and relationships. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.


You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


12 THINGS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO, BUT DON'T OFTEN REALIZE.


You want to be seen, know, loved, and valued. Of course, you do. Yet, you may be afraid to really enter into relationships. One way people think protects them from intimacy is to adopt passive-aggressive behaviors.


You push people away with passive-aggressive behaviors, right when you're longing for them to come closer. The good news is that you can change. And, if the passive-aggressive behaviors belong to someone else, you can learn how to recognize what's going on and make some changes. That's what today's podcast is all about.


You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. Well, all Hijackals are passive-aggressive, but not all passive-aggressive people are Hijackals. That's good news, because you might have been thinking otherwise.


In today's episode, I'm sharing twelve things--twelve infuriating things--that passive-aggressive people do that can drive others crazy. And, unfortunately, can drive them away.


I mentioned my free PassiveAggressiveChecklist.com site, where you can dive deeply into learning more about yourself or that person whose crazy-making behaviors are causing you to wonder if you want to be around them. Understanding what is passive-aggressive, and what is not is the best place to start. The Checklist is in-depth. In fact, it has two parts. When you complete the first and you recognize you need to know more, the checklist generates a second checklist for you to complete. It's a really effective learning tool.


Think about these twelve things in today's podcast. How many are present within you, or within in your relationship with the others. How's that working for you? Whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, or co-worker, you want to understand what's really going on.


Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:


  • Do I ever behave in any of these ways?
  • How do I currently respond when others behave like this?
  • Is it serving me? Is it serving them?
  • Am I completely kind and honest in my communications?
  • Do I tell the truth--again kindly and honestly--when asked for my opinion, or whether or not I'll do something?
  • Do I drag my feet once I've agreed to do something? Does someone I care about?
  • How can I release my own passive-aggressive tendencies?


Start with yourself. Then, learn to manage passive-aggressive behaviors and relationships. I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.


You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
<![CDATA[12 Signs You Are in a Love/Hate Relationship And Need Help]]> Sat, 19 May 2018 18:36:12 GMT 15:53 5b00687abeb378261e0365df no full 2 2 SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


There is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it's not right!


Good start! Go with your gut!


Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people, have "tells." Those are the signs that you need to see as early as possible...even if that happens after you've been with them for ten years. Or, if you were born to them and only see it all now!


In today's episode, I'll help you see how what you thought were the great traits of the person, are NOT what's real about them. Sad, right? You fell in love with Prince or Princess Charming, and now you've got the Prince or Princess of Darkness. So disappointing!


If you're like most people whom Hijackals target, though, you'll do your very best to make excuses for their bad behavior, to rationalize and justify it. You'll dance as fast as you can to do the best you can, and yet, it will never be good enough. When you're with a Hijackal, everything--and I mean everything--will be your fault. Familiar?


These twelve signs are explained in today's podcast. (There are more, and I'll save them for further discussion in other episodes.)


See these twelve signs. Think about these twelve signs. How many are present in your relationship with the Hijackal, whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, co-worker?


Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:


  • What makes me want to believe what they say?
  • Why do I not trust my gut, my intuition?
  • Do I ever really get a straight answer from the Hijackal?
  • Am I always backing down or apologizing?
  • Do I ever feel safe in my relationship with them?
  • Am I always feeling discounted, blamed, or worse, degraded?
  • Do they care what I think or how I feel?
  • Why do I think it's my job to please them?


These answers will lead you to a more healthy, balanced place now that you've heard the twelve signs in today's podcast.


You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


There is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it's not right!


Good start! Go with your gut!


Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people, have "tells." Those are the signs that you need to see as early as possible...even if that happens after you've been with them for ten years. Or, if you were born to them and only see it all now!


In today's episode, I'll help you see how what you thought were the great traits of the person, are NOT what's real about them. Sad, right? You fell in love with Prince or Princess Charming, and now you've got the Prince or Princess of Darkness. So disappointing!


If you're like most people whom Hijackals target, though, you'll do your very best to make excuses for their bad behavior, to rationalize and justify it. You'll dance as fast as you can to do the best you can, and yet, it will never be good enough. When you're with a Hijackal, everything--and I mean everything--will be your fault. Familiar?


These twelve signs are explained in today's podcast. (There are more, and I'll save them for further discussion in other episodes.)


See these twelve signs. Think about these twelve signs. How many are present in your relationship with the Hijackal, whether that's your partner, ex, mother, father, friend, co-worker?


Notice what you are feeling. Ask yourself these questions after you listen:


  • What makes me want to believe what they say?
  • Why do I not trust my gut, my intuition?
  • Do I ever really get a straight answer from the Hijackal?
  • Am I always backing down or apologizing?
  • Do I ever feel safe in my relationship with them?
  • Am I always feeling discounted, blamed, or worse, degraded?
  • Do they care what I think or how I feel?
  • Why do I think it's my job to please them?


These answers will lead you to a more healthy, balanced place now that you've heard the twelve signs in today's podcast.


You can make it stop. Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
<![CDATA[6 Subtle Signs You're Being Manipulated and How To Stop It]]> Sun, 13 May 2018 04:46:08 GMT 17:31 5af7c34f73a893c525f84adb no full 2 1 SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


Don't you just hate it when you feel manipulated? That's what happens far too often when you have a Hijackal in your life. And, you hope for better, but nothing really seems to change.


Today, I'm talking about six subtle signs to watch for, signs that you are being manipulated. They're tricky to spot because...well...you're not a Hijackal! You don't think that way. So, they are important to know about.


People who MUST manipulate do it because that's the only way they know to survive. Unfortunately, you are expected to accept it, settle for it, and allow it.


In today's episode, I hope you'll see that you have the right--and the responsibility--to step up and speak up. You know, though, that that often leads to arguments, threats, and, far too often--the silent treatment. So, do the work I'm talking about in this episode first, within yourself.


See these six signs. Then, notice what you can do to make it stop. These are things for you to change within yourself, not creating change in the Hijackal. That doesn't often happen. So, do these things to SAVE YOUR SANITY!


  1. Stop wanting their approval.
  2. Stop being addicted to their drama.
  3. Stop living up to their expectations
  4. Stop letting your boundaries slip.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


Don't you just hate it when you feel manipulated? That's what happens far too often when you have a Hijackal in your life. And, you hope for better, but nothing really seems to change.


Today, I'm talking about six subtle signs to watch for, signs that you are being manipulated. They're tricky to spot because...well...you're not a Hijackal! You don't think that way. So, they are important to know about.


People who MUST manipulate do it because that's the only way they know to survive. Unfortunately, you are expected to accept it, settle for it, and allow it.


In today's episode, I hope you'll see that you have the right--and the responsibility--to step up and speak up. You know, though, that that often leads to arguments, threats, and, far too often--the silent treatment. So, do the work I'm talking about in this episode first, within yourself.


See these six signs. Then, notice what you can do to make it stop. These are things for you to change within yourself, not creating change in the Hijackal. That doesn't often happen. So, do these things to SAVE YOUR SANITY!


  1. Stop wanting their approval.
  2. Stop being addicted to their drama.
  3. Stop living up to their expectations
  4. Stop letting your boundaries slip.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta

]]>
<![CDATA[Dating Red Flags to Watch For]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2018 15:04:22 GMT 9:03 no full <![CDATA[Raised by a Hijackal...]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2018 13:00:00 GMT 10:52 5aeac0f5840b09bc32989915 no full 3 371 <![CDATA[Divorcing a Hijackal® Tips]]> Fri, 23 Mar 2018 16:50:53 GMT 10:03 no full <![CDATA[Kids & Hijackal® Parents]]> Fri, 23 Mar 2018 16:47:12 GMT 10:52 no full <![CDATA[Q & A Should I take my Hijackal partner back again?]]> Wed, 21 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT 5:42 5aeac0c3066512202d2ea31d no full 3 361 <![CDATA[What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior, Really?]]> Wed, 14 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT 6:45 5aeac051840b09bc32989914 no full 3 351 <![CDATA[How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself]]> Wed, 14 Mar 2018 01:00:00 GMT 8:00 5aeac074066512202d2ea31c no full 3 352 <![CDATA[Finding Clarity in the Midst of Hijackal® Chaos]]> Sun, 11 Mar 2018 19:19:33 GMT 11:47 no <![CDATA[Dr. Shaler How Can I Learn to Trust ? Part 2]]> Wed, 07 Mar 2018 02:00:00 GMT 8:01 5aeabf65066512202d2ea31b no full 3 341 <![CDATA[Divorcing a Hijackal® Tips]]> Mon, 05 Mar 2018 18:20:52 GMT 9:54 no full <![CDATA[Q&A How to reduce the conflict and craziness]]> Wed, 28 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT 8:02 5aeabeba066512202d2ea31a no full <![CDATA[How Can I Learn to Trust? - Part 1]]> Tue, 27 Feb 2018 14:00:00 GMT 4:56 5aeabf0d0f406bec7378320a no full 3 332 <![CDATA[Q&A I've ended my relationship, now what?]]> Wed, 21 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT 9:59 5aeabe5a066512202d2ea319 no full <![CDATA[Propinquity ]]> Wed, 07 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT 10:41 5aeabda2f2fb72ce3c9b21e7 no full 3 301 <![CDATA[Why are I afraid of my husband's anger, walking on eggshells still ]]> Wed, 07 Feb 2018 02:00:00 GMT 11:12 5aeabdde840b09bc32989913 no full <![CDATA[How To Handle Bullies At Work]]> Wed, 31 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT 12:17 5aeabc9d840b09bc32989911 no full 3 291 <![CDATA[When work becomes a place you want to avoid]]> Wed, 31 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT 11:21 5aeabd4a840b09bc32989912 no full <![CDATA[5 Ways to Recognize Passive-Aggressive Behavior ]]> Wed, 17 Jan 2018 02:15:00 GMT 10:48 5ae8a6b6840b09bc329898ba no full 3 271 Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, infuriating, and frankly...unfair! And, it's sneaky! In fact, so sneaky that you're often caught up in thinking that it actually makes some sense...at first, or for a while. Then, it dawns on you: Something's not right with this but I can't quite put my finger on it.


So, today, Dr. Shaler offers you five ways that passive-aggressive behavior shows up. You can then recognize it more easily. BUT, it's never very helpful to tell another person that their behavior is passive-aggressive. It's highly unlikely to get you anywhere good. Learn why.


Listen to this short podcast and learn how to listen for passive-aggressive stuff coming at you, and well as from you. It can be tricky!


Oh, Dr. Shaler has also written two books to give you even more insights, strategies, and skills:


Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game


The Hijackal Trap: The Hidden Anger of Passive-Aggression


Available at Amazon along with her other books.


TAKE DR. SHALER'S FREE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CHECKLIST HERE! Find out what's up for sure.

]]>
Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, infuriating, and frankly...unfair! And, it's sneaky! In fact, so sneaky that you're often caught up in thinking that it actually makes some sense...at first, or for a while. Then, it dawns on you: Something's not right with this but I can't quite put my finger on it.


So, today, Dr. Shaler offers you five ways that passive-aggressive behavior shows up. You can then recognize it more easily. BUT, it's never very helpful to tell another person that their behavior is passive-aggressive. It's highly unlikely to get you anywhere good. Learn why.


Listen to this short podcast and learn how to listen for passive-aggressive stuff coming at you, and well as from you. It can be tricky!


Oh, Dr. Shaler has also written two books to give you even more insights, strategies, and skills:


Stop! That's Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game


The Hijackal Trap: The Hidden Anger of Passive-Aggression


Available at Amazon along with her other books.


TAKE DR. SHALER'S FREE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CHECKLIST HERE! Find out what's up for sure.

]]>
<![CDATA[Drama: Who needs it??]]> Tue, 16 Jan 2018 23:07:01 GMT 7:15 no full <![CDATA[Adult Hijackal Child Blaming & Shunning ]]> Tue, 16 Jan 2018 08:36:00 GMT 15:53 5aeabc500f406bec73783209 no full 3 272 <![CDATA[Verbal Abuse: More common than you think]]> Sun, 14 Jan 2018 21:41:12 GMT 9:58 no full <![CDATA[Are You In A Relationship That is Comfortably Uncomfortable?]]> Wed, 10 Jan 2018 02:15:00 GMT 9:40 5ae564876cc266e9455967aa no full 3 262 Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Is your relationship bringing you love, safety, trust, respect, and emotional intimacy? Or, has it become one that goes along all right as long as you both walk on eggshells? Is it somewhere in the middle?


What's going on? It could be that one or both of you have been set up to settle for a "comfortably uncomfortable" relationship. You need to think about this. Settling is not the best descriptor for a satisfying relationship.


Dr. Shaler gives you insights into why you may not yet be having the relationship you most want, together. And, gives steps you can take to move in a better direction.


TAKE DR. SHALER'S FREE RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST HERE.

]]>
Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Is your relationship bringing you love, safety, trust, respect, and emotional intimacy? Or, has it become one that goes along all right as long as you both walk on eggshells? Is it somewhere in the middle?


What's going on? It could be that one or both of you have been set up to settle for a "comfortably uncomfortable" relationship. You need to think about this. Settling is not the best descriptor for a satisfying relationship.


Dr. Shaler gives you insights into why you may not yet be having the relationship you most want, together. And, gives steps you can take to move in a better direction.


TAKE DR. SHALER'S FREE RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST HERE.

]]>
<![CDATA[Q&A One day is good. The next is a nightmare. ]]> Wed, 10 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT 10:03 5ae5645ecd7788d4792db679 no full 3 261 Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


When you are in a difficult relationship, you can certainly have more ups and downs than are comfortable. Those roller coasters can take so much energy that you're exhausted.


Dr. Shaler answers a reader's question about a roller coaster relationship. Good relationship advice.


If you have a question that you would like her to answer on air for you, you are welcome to submit it using THIS LINK.


Enjoy Dr. Shaler's YouTube channel: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

]]>
Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


When you are in a difficult relationship, you can certainly have more ups and downs than are comfortable. Those roller coasters can take so much energy that you're exhausted.


Dr. Shaler answers a reader's question about a roller coaster relationship. Good relationship advice.


If you have a question that you would like her to answer on air for you, you are welcome to submit it using THIS LINK.


Enjoy Dr. Shaler's YouTube channel: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

]]>
<![CDATA["It Happened To Me" - Dr. Rhoberta Shaler's story]]> Wed, 03 Jan 2018 02:15:00 GMT 8:54 5ae563fd928bf5cf7926bc48 no full 3 252 Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


"It Happened To Me" is a feature of the Save Your Sanity podcast. Guests tell their real life stories of life with Hijackals. Whether they loved on, lived with one, left one, or were raised by one, you'll relate to their experiences, and hear how they found ways to move positively forward.


Today, it's Dr. Shaler's own story.


Would you like to come on air and tell your "It Happened To Me" story? I'd love to have you as my guest. Use this guest form: ForRelationshipHelp.com/guests

]]>
Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


"It Happened To Me" is a feature of the Save Your Sanity podcast. Guests tell their real life stories of life with Hijackals. Whether they loved on, lived with one, left one, or were raised by one, you'll relate to their experiences, and hear how they found ways to move positively forward.


Today, it's Dr. Shaler's own story.


Would you like to come on air and tell your "It Happened To Me" story? I'd love to have you as my guest. Use this guest form: ForRelationshipHelp.com/guests

]]>
<![CDATA[Unresolved Conflict is Organizational Bloodletting]]> Wed, 03 Jan 2018 02:00:00 GMT 9:15 5ae56337928bf5cf7926bc47 no full 3 251 Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Have you ever wanted to stay home from work to avoid someone, or to not have to deal with conflicts? You are not alone. Stress in the workplace caused by unresolved conflicts takes a large toll on everyone. It's exhausting.


Dr. Shaler discusses conflict in the workplace, and why it is essential to address it. Of course, having the right communication and conflict management strategies is important. That's why training is valuable. Too many businesses and companies could do a better job of offering this kind of help to their people.


What happens when conflict continues? That's the subject of today's podcast...and what happens when it's not addressed.


Want skills and strategies right away?

Buy your copy of Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work now from Amazon HERE

Valuable chapters on communication, conflict, negotiation, anger management, and more.

]]>
Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals®

from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor


Have you ever wanted to stay home from work to avoid someone, or to not have to deal with conflicts? You are not alone. Stress in the workplace caused by unresolved conflicts takes a large toll on everyone. It's exhausting.


Dr. Shaler discusses conflict in the workplace, and why it is essential to address it. Of course, having the right communication and conflict management strategies is important. That's why training is valuable. Too many businesses and companies could do a better job of offering this kind of help to their people.


What happens when conflict continues? That's the subject of today's podcast...and what happens when it's not addressed.


Want skills and strategies right away?

Buy your copy of Wrestling Rhinos: Conquering Conflict in the Wilds of Work now from Amazon HERE

Valuable chapters on communication, conflict, negotiation, anger management, and more.

]]>
<![CDATA[Boundaries. Got any?]]> Sun, 31 Dec 2017 02:39:34 GMT 6:57 no full <![CDATA[Recognize Verbal Abuse Now]]> Wed, 27 Dec 2017 02:45:00 GMT 12:58 5ae562ea928bf5cf7926bc46 no full 2 244 <![CDATA[Q&A My mother is always finding fault. ]]> Wed, 27 Dec 2017 02:30:00 GMT 9:11 5ae562c66cc266e9455967a9 no full 2 243 <![CDATA[12 Signs You Are In A Love-Hate Relationship]]> Wed, 27 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT 14:58 5ae5626bcd7788d4792db677 no full 2 241 <![CDATA[Love-Bombing - Not As Desireable As It Sounds]]> Wed, 27 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT 12:00 5ae5628fcd7788d4792db678 no full 2 242 <![CDATA[Spirituality, Hijackals & You]]> Wed, 27 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT 9:15 5ae4eb4bf3d04dea45b263b3 no full 2 231 <![CDATA[Should I Stay or Should I Go?]]> Thu, 21 Dec 2017 01:14:10 GMT 7:27 no full Big question. Knowing the answer takes a whole lot of thinking…unless, of course, there is physical or sexual abuse.


Then, there is only one answer: GO. Go to the police. Go to the court. Go to any lengths you need to protect yourself and your children. GO.


For most of you, though, going or staying is not black or white. It’s a whole lot of grey that travels from close to white some days, to too close to black others.

]]>
Big question. Knowing the answer takes a whole lot of thinking…unless, of course, there is physical or sexual abuse.


Then, there is only one answer: GO. Go to the police. Go to the court. Go to any lengths you need to protect yourself and your children. GO.


For most of you, though, going or staying is not black or white. It’s a whole lot of grey that travels from close to white some days, to too close to black others.

]]>
<![CDATA[Four Scary Reasons Unconditional Love is a Dangerous Myth]]> Wed, 20 Dec 2017 02:00:00 GMT 9:29 5ae56220cd7788d4792db676 no full 2 232 <![CDATA[What's up with Harvey W?]]> Wed, 20 Dec 2017 00:40:28 GMT 13:48 no full <![CDATA[Q&A - How do I know what to trust?]]> Mon, 18 Dec 2017 03:31:18 GMT 9:54 no full <![CDATA[DIFFICULT or Actually DANGEROUS?]]> Mon, 18 Dec 2017 02:24:31 GMT 12:03 no full <![CDATA[Are You Looking for a Fight?]]> Fri, 23 Dec 2016 21:26:48 GMT 7:14 no full Sometimes you're speaking up about something you believe in. Other times, you want to fight and use a topic to make it happen. Can you tell the difference?


Don't be "that person" who is always gunning for an argument, or purposefully trying to get a rise out of their partner. That is bad behavior and totally un-loving.

]]>
Sometimes you're speaking up about something you believe in. Other times, you want to fight and use a topic to make it happen. Can you tell the difference?


Don't be "that person" who is always gunning for an argument, or purposefully trying to get a rise out of their partner. That is bad behavior and totally un-loving.

]]>
<![CDATA[Recognize a high-conflict person in a relationship]]> Sat, 10 Dec 2016 21:07:15 GMT 7:26 no full <![CDATA[Interview with Patricia Evans of VerbalAbuse.com]]> Mon, 14 Nov 2016 20:08:29 GMT 39:03 no full <![CDATA[Why Do I Get So Angry?]]> Wed, 09 Nov 2016 13:01:41 GMT 2:21 no full <![CDATA[Toxic, Corrosive, Explosive Relationships]]> Tue, 08 Nov 2016 17:47:02 GMT 5:15 no full <![CDATA[How To Stop Blaming]]> Fri, 21 Oct 2016 12:18:20 GMT 7:56 no full <![CDATA[Q&A Listener questions answered by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD]]> Thu, 20 Oct 2016 12:00:00 GMT 25:00 no <![CDATA[Is Name-Calling Ever Okay?]]> Tue, 18 Oct 2016 17:14:12 GMT 1:59 no full SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT?


You lose it.

You're angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind.

You want to win.

You want to be heard.

You want to be acknowledged.

You want to feel validated.


So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out of your mouth. Then, all those nasty names from the playground, and maybe sadly from your early life at home, force themselves upon another person.


It feels good. Finally, you told the truth. Finally, you let loose.


PROBLEM: What now? You're calm, and the thrill of thinking "I showed them what was up!" is gone. You know you've damaged the relationship. Now, what?


Name-calling gets you a one-way ticket to regret...if you have much emotional intelligence at all, and you want the relationship to continue.


If you never want to see the person again, and simply don't care, you might be fine for awhile. But, what happens when others hear about your rampage? Is that OK with you?


You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. They will definitely push you, screaming, right up to the edge. It's up to you whether or not you leap over and have your say in a damaging way.


Is it damaging to the Hijackal? Likely not. That person will soon weaponize it and use it against you.


But, what does it do to your image of yourself? That's what really matters.


Listen to today's episode to see how you're thinking about name-calling, and how it works for--and against--you. And, both can be true whether you're the giver or receiver!


Name-calling. Did you like it as a child? Do you like it coming at you now? Good questions to ask yourself if you're the one who's doing it now.



Want more topics to help you create the life and relationships you most want? I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.


Anger getting the best of you? You can make that stop. Do it because you matter. You want to feel good about the way you handle things.


Anger coming at you from someone else. It's SO not all right for them to be spewing out horrible names at you, either. That has to stop. Unfortunately, that's not something you can stop, but you don't have to stand still for it.


Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor


IS NAME-CALLING EVER OK? EVEN IN AN ARGUMENT?


You lose it.

You're angry, out of control, and maybe, even a little out of your mind.

You want to win.

You want to be heard.

You want to be acknowledged.

You want to feel validated.


So, some words you hate hearing from others come bellowing out of your mouth. Then, all those nasty names from the playground, and maybe sadly from your early life at home, force themselves upon another person.


It feels good. Finally, you told the truth. Finally, you let loose.


PROBLEM: What now? You're calm, and the thrill of thinking "I showed them what was up!" is gone. You know you've damaged the relationship. Now, what?


Name-calling gets you a one-way ticket to regret...if you have much emotional intelligence at all, and you want the relationship to continue.


If you never want to see the person again, and simply don't care, you might be fine for awhile. But, what happens when others hear about your rampage? Is that OK with you?


You know about Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dangerous--people we talk about here on Save Your Sanity. They will definitely push you, screaming, right up to the edge. It's up to you whether or not you leap over and have your say in a damaging way.


Is it damaging to the Hijackal? Likely not. That person will soon weaponize it and use it against you.


But, what does it do to your image of yourself? That's what really matters.


Listen to today's episode to see how you're thinking about name-calling, and how it works for--and against--you. And, both can be true whether you're the giver or receiver!


Name-calling. Did you like it as a child? Do you like it coming at you now? Good questions to ask yourself if you're the one who's doing it now.



Want more topics to help you create the life and relationships you most want? I've done a few videos on my YouTube channel to help you learn more. Subscribe to it HERE.


Anger getting the best of you? You can make that stop. Do it because you matter. You want to feel good about the way you handle things.


Anger coming at you from someone else. It's SO not all right for them to be spewing out horrible names at you, either. That has to stop. Unfortunately, that's not something you can stop, but you don't have to stand still for it.


Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule a free consultation HERE.


I hope this empowers you to make positive changes.


Talk soon.

Rhoberta


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com


YouTubeYouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp


Join my Closed Facebook group HERE to ask your questions, get validation and support.

]]>
<![CDATA[Q&A - Will He Ever Commit? ]]> Fri, 14 Oct 2016 12:33:58 GMT 2:23 no full <![CDATA[QuickTips - My Boyfriend Dumped Me]]> Wed, 12 Oct 2016 18:57:31 GMT 2:21 no full <![CDATA[Expert interviews - Do Opposites Attract?]]> Mon, 10 Oct 2016 20:59:42 GMT 6:25 no full <![CDATA[Stop Anger And Aggression From Ending Your Relationship]]> Fri, 07 Oct 2016 20:43:46 GMT 4:06 no <![CDATA[How Hijackal Parents Mess With Kids' Lives]]> Fri, 23 Sep 2016 20:00:16 GMT 13:02 no <![CDATA[Trapped By A Hijackal?]]> Wed, 31 Aug 2016 21:32:05 GMT 34:45 no <![CDATA[Are You Headed For A Breakup?]]> Mon, 22 Aug 2016 22:37:11 GMT 4:47 no <![CDATA[My Partner Is Constantly Blaming Me For Everything]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2016 00:54:33 GMT 6:39 no